"50 years ago hardly anybody even went to Europe, but then cheap package holidays came along in in the 70s, and suddenly Spain was accessible and affordable. Another world of cheap beer, wine and fags, constant sunshine, no apparent licensing laws. Were we being shafted here in England with overpriced cigs, watered-down ale and crap weather? Well, that's reality, and holidays are just what they say they are. I mean you can't live like that on a daily basis. Having your tea at nine in the evening - in the open air, drinking carafes of wine in an olive garden 'til all hours. That strong continental beer; three of them and you'd be kale-eyed. Bars staying open until the early hours, I say if you've not had enough by midnight there must be summit wrong with yer.
I mean common sense must prevail at some point...and the food, can't tell what it is half the time. What's wrong with meat and potatoes? And don't get me started on how to make a decent cup of tea, it's not rocket science. But they don't get it.
Quite a lot of the foreigners over there don't speak English, which can get quite tiresome to be honest. It is the global language after all. And all that kilos and grams, and wanting to do away with the pound. They say you could still have the Queen's head on that Euro thingy, but that's not the point. We have the pound. And driving on the right? What crackpot dreamt that up? It's like encouraging road accidents.
So if it means no-one telling us what we can and can't do, then they can keep their cheap fags, strong beer, nice weather, 24 hour lifestyle, funny food. Life's not like that! Life is grey skies, rain, queues, a tenner for a pack of cigs (for your own good really in'it? they'll kill yer them things), last orders, the Queen's English, weak industrial beer, and a healthy mistrust of anything or anybody from over there. Best thing what's ever happened - last time I checked we ruled the world."
